Father Feels | Kise Ryouta

He felt tired. No, EXHAUSTED. Hell, exhausted probably didn’t cover half of what he was feeling at the moment. He wanted to cry. His head throbbed with a huge migraine.

And its only been a few hours since you had left him his two sons.

“Please don’t cry, please don’t cry~” he sang as he tried to calm his son of 6 months in his arms as the boy wailed loudly in his ears.

It didn’t help that his twin brother, who was in the baby walker, had decided to join him in some kind of crying fest as the two cried sadly as if asking Ryouta where their mother went and why did she leave them in the care of such a clueless man.

So much crying. So much. It made the grown man want to cry out himself.

Its nap time for the boys now and he had followed every instructions left by his wife to the T yet WHY were the boys still crying? He mentally went through the list.

Baths- check. Oh god, was bath time a challenge. Normally, dads his age would have to deal with only one baby. One cute little baby that they could put all their focus in and ensure proper love and care was given as they played with the bubbles in the bath and make funny faces at each other.
Not TWO cute little babies where you are just physically unable to bath two kids at once at their current age and if you dare leave one without taking the other then prepare yourself for some serious waterworks.

Lunch-check. This went by a little more smoothly. He never really noticed it before but he had realized then how fast time flew. Before he knew it, his boys were big enough to eat soft foods now and as he feed them spoonful by spoonful of his wife’s homemade baby food to them, with them awaiting eagerly every bite, he couldn’t help but feel some sort of… overwhelming love for both his wife and kids. Huh. Must be those ‘father feels’ his older friends often talk about.

Burping, play time, diaper change. Check, check and CHECK.

His mind whirred for a solution. He wanted oh so badly to call his wife, hear her comforting voice and her words of reassurement. But that would mean admitting defeat. And he wanted to prove to her that he was a capable man and an even more capable father.

As he paced around the room, trying to soothe his eldest son whose cries had started to quiet down just ever so slightly, he felt his foot come in contact with a plastic material.

“Huh? A bottle? Yikes that shouldnt be on the floor-” That’s when it hit him.

Of course. OF COURSE.

Of course his boys would be thirsty (and probably hungry) after all that! Suddenly feeling very giddy to find what could MOST PROBABLY be the solution to end everyones misery, Ryouta quickly placed his eldest into the walker next to his wailing brother causing them to double team in their sad symphonic harmony, and mixed up two bottles of formula milk.

Yes. YES. THIS COULD BE IT.

Ryouta picked up one son and placed him down onto the baby mat as he went to quickly grab the two warm bottles of milk he had prepared earlier from the kitchen. Passing his other son who had somehow inched his way to Ryota on his baby walker, the young father grabbed the bibs and pulled along the little man to join his brother on the mat.
After gently laying them next to one another despite all the wailing, he put up the bottles of milk for the boys to see, earning a sudden stop to all the crying replaced by urgent cooing.

A soft smile etched his tired features and without delay, Ryouta extended two arms to give the twins their long awaited, well deserved drink.

“Sorry it took so long,” he apologized in a tired voice.

When two pairs of red swollen eyes look curiously at him as they eagerly drank, he felt whatever tired and annoyance from earlier completely dissipate into guilt… and some kind of…. satisfying contentment.
Being a father... was not easy.

“Ahhhh your Papa can be pretty useless sometimes” he laughed at himself. The boys just continued to stare, sucking at their bottles. Nyotnyotnyot.

Ryouta chuckled at them, watching all their little movements.

He never really imagined having a son, let alone 2. He'd always seen himself with a daughter. A little girl to spoil. A little princess to dress and pamper.
But life apparently had better plans.

The boys were practical carbon copies of him, which didn't make you very happy. “How will people ever believe me when I say they’re MY SONS?” as you would often complained but when he looks in their eyes, all he saw was your innocence and your gentleness. Eyes eager and optimistic. Those were your eyes and he couldn't be more than happy to prove you wrong.

“I just don’t know how your mom, does it” he shook his head in amazement. For the entire day, did he realize then just how much he had under appreciated the strength of his wife taking care of twin boys.

His twin boys.

He would leave his family for days, often weeks and there had been a time where he had left you for a month, but not once did you ever complain and every single time, he would return to the amazing comfort of a home that was built on purely your love.

“…Sorry Papa’s not around much.” He murmured apologetically, guilt tinged his voice. The sucking of the boys had quieted down as their eyes began to droop of drowsiness. Once their bottles finished, he picked each of them up slowly to burp them before laying them gently back and patting them to sleep.

“Your mother is an amazing person so always, always, always love your mother, okay” he whispered to them, only soft little snores came as a reply.
Feeling his own drowsiness creep onto him, he settled himself in between the boys before letting fatigue take over and settle in as slumber.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You returned home late that day, and honestly you couldn’t wait to hit the bed. But something else kept bothering you. Something that made you feel uneasy for the whole day.

For one whole day, not ONCE did Ryota call you. Not about home, nothing about the boys, and especially none of the childish whining (“(y/n)-cchi!”) that never really grew out of him since high school.

None of that. Which scared you.

You had called earlier to tell him you were on your way back, but he didn’t reply. Not wanting to think about the worst case scenario, you tried comforting yourself into thinking he must’ve fallen asleep.

That didn’t make you any less worried however.

Unlocking the door to your home, you stepped inside only to be welcomed by still and complete silence.

“Ryouta?” you called out softly. No reply.

You headed to the living room where the lights were off and the only source of light was the moonlight that came through the balcony of your home.

Cautiously, you treaded through the darkness of your home only to stop in shock at what you saw.

There, you found your husband in his makeshift bed on the floor, cuddling softly two little boys on his chest, as the three of them slumbered peacefully.

It took your everything not to squeal. Your everything.

Smiling softly to yourself, you realized you were worried for nothing.

After taking a silent photo of the one in a million scenes with your phone, you walked up quietly to Ryouta.

“Ryoouutaaaaa~” you called out in a singsong voice. You watched him stir out of sleep before looking around in a daze before his eyes met yours. His brown eyes widened with surprise before letting a loving smile grace his handsome features. A father of two kids with 5 years of marriage in him and he still looked like that tall obnoxious basketball player that you had fallen in love with so long ago.

He didn’t understand why he had heard your voice so clearly in his sleep, but once he had woken up only to find you safely home with him now, your bright smile and your loving eyes washed whatever fatigue that was left in him. A mother of two kids with 5 years of marriage in you and you still looked like that beautiful bright young girl that he had fallen in love with so long ago.

Gently putting down the boys to not wake them, he walked up to you to pull you in a soft embrace.  
How did he end up so lucky?

“…Ryouta? Everything alright?” you asked confused.

Alright? It was more than alright.

A cheeky smile seen on his face as he whispered softly.

“Thank you for everything, (y/n).

Welcome home."